Reflections on the 2024 DBFC LMP Retreat

The task from our Retreat Master was simple: Find a place to pray. Imagine that you and the Lord are talking. Listen. Be mindful of how you feel. I remember walking to where I wanted to pray and whispering, “Lord, please be with me.” When I reached my destination, I closed my eyes. Then, immediately, tears rolled down my cheeks. I was overwhelmed. The Lord knows what I need even before I start talking.

This experience happened during the 2024 Retreat of the Lay Mission Partners (LMP) of the Don Bosco Formation Center of Lawaan (DBFC). It has the theme: A Retreat for Busy People: Mindfulness and Stress Reduction, facilitated by Fr. Erwin Joey E. Cabilan, SDB. If Fr. Erwin asks again what I resolve after the retreat, my answer would be “To intensify PRESENCE: presence in prayers, presence in now, and presence with others.”

What does being “still” mean? Reading the bible verse, one may think about inaction and faith. But there’s more than just doing nothing and trusting. Amidst busyness and turmoils, we must strengthen our lifeline with God through prayers. To pray is not just blabbering memorized words while the heart feels restless and the mind wanders out of control. Many of us can relate to times when praying is more of a routine. I learned that being still means praying with presence: putting all one’s heart and mind in prayer. In praying with presence, God is present. When praying with presence, we must also acknowledge and feel the presence of God. My experience tells me that prayers don’t always have to be with words. Being still is what’s important. Presence in Prayers is giving your all at the moment, being present with God, and sensing His presence.

“Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”

Philippians 4:6-7

An individual’s strength is also a weakness. My personality assessments are consistent with my futuristic and deliberative strengths. I thrive as a software engineering manager because of my ability to anticipate the stakeholders’ needs, identify and mitigate risks early on, and determine what could go wrong in the project. I ensure I am three steps in advance and have backup plans so my team can deliver seamlessly. Anticipating and preparing for the future are also valid in my personal life. Needless to say, I worry a lot. I am always anxious. My theme question is, “Wouldn’t it be great if … ”  I live in the future instead of the present. That’s why I appreciate our mindful exercises during the retreat. I freed my mind off to-dos and cares and fully engaged all of my senses in the beautiful sight of the sea, sand, mountain, and clouds, in the sound of gentle waves, in the feel of the humid but gentle breeze and the pebbles under my feet, and the smell of the sea. God is there, embracing me through nature, and my heart has become grateful and at peace. My experience got me thinking: what if, amidst the busyness and turmoils of every day, I am missing feeling God’s love because I am not present in the now? Presence in the now is being fully aware, conscious, and intentional about where you are, not where you want to be.

“Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for yourselves. For my yoke is easy, and my burden light.“

Matthew 11:28-30

One cannot talk about connecting with God without connecting with others. If we are to learn from Jesus Christ, we have to help others with their burden. And we can only help if we are present with them. I have many memorable and enjoyable experiences during the retreat with my colleagues. The LMPs of DBFC are like a family. Each has something to share. We all have different functions, yet everyone is part of the whole. During the retreat, we learned of each others’ sorrows, the dark night of the soul. And because we’re present for each other, sharing our sorrows brought clarity and lightness. As tears fell, the burden was shared. Presence with others is about being sensitive and putting the needs of others first to help lighten up their burden.

Through the retreat, I experienced the transformative power of presence: presence in prayers, presence in now, and presence with others. I thank Fr. Erwin and the Salesian community of DBFC for this experience. I will remember the lessons I learned, cherish the relationships built, and strengthen my resolve to “intensify presence.” So, whenever I go to my prayer destination and close my eyes, the tears will immediately roll, primarily because of gratitude.